Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Are we still banned from the library?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize