I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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