I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
