Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pooping to opera.
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