ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
