she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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