Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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