well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
