Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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