The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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