I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think my moral compass just broke
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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