Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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