It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
