You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He had one of those small greek statue penises
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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