She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
