His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
