This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
