There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
