SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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