ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
