I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
