I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
