Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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