She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize