I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
