My friends, they love my intelligence
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
