32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
