Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
