absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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