He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
