I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
