Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
