This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
