yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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