Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
