IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
