just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
