Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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