Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
