let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
