Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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