Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I smell like Dick and happiness
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
