On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
