pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
