did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
