the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pants are for mortals
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
