i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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