i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No subtext here. People are naked.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
