ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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