HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize