she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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