i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
