Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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