I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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