i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
