the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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