i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
