I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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