I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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